aaamusic | On 02, Oct 2012

Unreconstructed Rock and Roll. It’s odd that something so simple can be such an acquired taste. As much as Northwest based rockers Valve Rider boast on their Facebook page that they are “the kind of band that’s been missing for way too long!” the chances of their debut album rising up and catching the ears of the British public at large are pretty slim. This is for two reasons, the first being that, however good the album is, the chances of it eclipsing the likes of Paranoid, Led Zeppelin or Disraeli Gears in terms of quality are non-existent from the word go. It won’t sound anywhere near as exciting as those records for one, as those records were all incredibly innovative at the time; they were challenging, people who didn’t get it felt threatened by them, if a band really wanted to pay tribute to the artists behind those records they’d be pushing the envelope and trying to do something new. I don’t think I’d be surprising you, dear reader, if I told you that the four blokes that make up Valve Rider probably think “Space Oddity” is cutting edge. The other reason why Valve Rider probably aren’t the band that the British Isles need right now is because they’re pretty damn mediocre. For all my talk earlier, the sound of a Les Paul through the biggest Marshall Amp stack around can still be impossibly exciting, but it really isn’t here.

This is the dictionary definition of meat and potatoes (metaphorically speaking). Every single track following the exact same formula of riff, verse, chorus, riff, verse, chorus, solo, chorus, riff, end, and when only the riffs are distinguishable from one song to the next (and even that’s speaking kindly) it gets very old, very quickly. The one respite is the contractually obligated acoustic closing track You’ll Ride, which at just over two minutes long seems like an afterthought and, ironically enough, would have probably been a slightly edgier decision to leave it off. Otherwise it’s all very heavy but never threatening, I could mention particular songs but since everything is repeated at least five times over on the record it wouldn’t mean all that much. There’s some neat slide work on Cross The Line (which might also be the stand out track on the album, which isn’t saying much, but still…) which pops up a few times on later tracks but it can’t lift the album as a whole.

I may be being overly critical here. This is not an outright “bad” album, the players are all great musicians, even if Adam Ward’s vocals aren’t half as badass as they think they are and the production is essentially non-existent. But it’s the attitude that this album and, by extension, this band has that really gets up my nose. There’s no such thing as “real” Rock and Roll but I get the feeling Valve Rider do and think they’re bringing guitar music back to the masses. Now, I’m no Vaccines fan, but they’ve had a number one album, sold out Alexandra Palace and playing the 02 Arena next May. They are the absolute opposite band to Valve Riders and they’re one of Britain’s biggest rock bands. Valve Rider say they’re the kind of band that’s been missing for too long, based on the evidence of this boring, inconsequential album I ask, did we need another one?

★★★★★

Author: Will Howard